The eye of the beholder

Each day is a learning experience.  I have always believed that and I am glad for it.  Any day I have not learned something in my every day activities, I look in the dictionary for a word I don't know.  I then strive to use that word, at least once and out loud, before I go to bed.  I like to think I am keeping my brain fed.

Like most people, I think, I don't have the best image of myself.  I feel that, while I think I have a fairly good mind and a killer sense of humor, I don't feel I have any kind of good look about me.  (Well, except my hair.  I have always liked my hair.)  I feel thick (fat), old (ancient) and cranky (kind of grouchy and mean).  No one really understands me and I feel for at least a little while each day that no one really cares to.

I have a wonderful husband who works an awful lot leaving me to my own devices, three grown children and their expanding families and two beautiful grandsons.  I have two cats and a chubby chihuahua.  I love to cook, I love to eat, I love to entertain and I love to knit.  I adore writing and reading.  I take great pleasure in pedicure (which I never would have believed if I had been told two years ago) but I am not terribly fond of a manicure or a massage.  I love my car but really hate to drive.  I listen to all kinds of music but Showtunes are my passion.  I am active in community theatre but am rarely cast ( I concentrate on back stage and am attempting my first show as director).

I spend a lot of time alone, primarily due to my health.  I am a good friend but bad at making new ones.  I have had few "best" friends in my life and my ex-husband used to ask me how anyone could stand being friends with me.  He and I divorced (hence the ex) 13 years ago and have since become more like friends than we ever were married.

My husband tells me I am beautiful.  My children love me.  My very dear friends tell me how great I am.  Beauty (& an excellent personality) is in the eye of the beholder.  I am lucky to have the positive reinforcement every day.

Now, if only I could see even the slightest bit of what they all see...