Children

I found out a few days ago my son and his girlfriend will be coming to visit this long weekend.  But not for the whole long weekend.  Arriving Saturday evening and leaving Monday or Tuesday.  I am pretty excited.  I don't see my children as much as I like since they all grew up and got their own lives.  

That is the thing that no one tells you is going to happen when you have children.  Oh, as an ex-child myself, I KNOW it happens but no one tells you how to prepare for that kind of heartbreak.  I was/am pretty close to my children and when I don't speak to them any more than once a month or even once a week, it makes me sad.  I miss them.  

My husband doesn't always understand exactly how I feel and why I get all spun up and try to over prepare for them to arrive.  Why I insist on spoiling them every time they visit.  He, as a man, can never understand Mother Love.  He remained pretty close to his parents, speaking to them or seeing them daily or weekly.  He worries about how sad I get knowing they will be leaving soon after they come visit and the cycle will start again...where I hear from them little and see them even less.  We all have jobs, they have kids and significant others.  I don't want to deprive them of their lives but I still want to be important.

So they come see me.  And it is as though we have never been apart.  We are close.  We talk.  We hug.  We play games.  They make me important.  And that is the feeling that keeps me going.  Knowing I will get many chances to be spoiled by my children and grandchildren.  

Every day I know they love me as much as I love them.  But the spike of joy and comfort of their visits makes the few sad-because-I-miss-them days disappear.  Perhaps the is how the sadness becomes bearable.  Because the tank is refilled before it reaches the absolute bottom.

Children...the agony and the ecstasy.  Every day is a gift.  Treasure it.  

Later...