So, I have learned that a person CAN be too tired to think. I have been living it this week. An upgrade to our computer system has created an exhausting week. Not exhausting in the way a 12 hour day of Christmas shopping can or a day of running five miles or digging ditches, but exhausting in a When-did-I-get-hit-by-that-speeding-car kind of way. A think-tank kind of exhausted.
My brain is actually feeling fried. I wanted to think of something to write about all week but had nothing until today. Today these words are coming most likely due to the upgrade and subsequent testing being complete. I am shutting down that problem so there is a tiny bit of room in my head now. Until tomorrow. When the fruits of my labor will be put to the test and any and all problems must be resolved immediately...or sooner.
I have had to endure the attempts of a higher-up making an attempt to tear me down. "Do you feel like you can make an confidant, informed decision?" she asks, disdain in her inflection. "Yes." I say with resolute defiance. "okay...." she says in that sing-songy way your mom would when you told her you could do something you both knew was impossible. And on a phone call with 11-12 other people. Way to build my confidence. Some Manager. Why did she think it wise to tear down the one person who knows this stuff right before something so important?
Who knows.
Some people need to make others feel bad so they can feel good. I don't understand that way of thinking. I am tough, too but not to the detriment of others. There is no point in it.
Tomorrow I will go to work, head held high, knowing I did it! I made a confident, informed decision and successfully tested and edited the application! If there are problems I will resolve them immediately and thoroughly! Everyday is a struggle with my health...I won't tolerate a struggle with my job! My job is something I am confident in. I know it. I can do it in my sleep.
Struggle be damned! Tomorrow we succeed!!
Later...
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